Apr 25, 2007

The Ham Sandwich From Hell

Benign and seemingly harmless to many, above we see the "ham sandwich" from hell. Unless your name is Mama Cass or you happen to be a Muslim, then you have nothing to worry about.

The "ham sandwich" is the natural predator of devout Muslims around the globe. While it might seem to be nothing more than an innoculous organic compound to some, or perhaps a tasty lunch menu item to others, the "ham sandwich" inflicts fear and terror into the hearts and minds of Muslims, and possesses the the capacity to devour the very soul of a Muslim should they happen to venture to close to it.

Whether it is Minnesota cab drivers refusing passengers who are carrying alcohol or students in Maine frightened and offended by a ham sandwich, Im constantly amazed at both the audacity of these new immigrants and the gullibility of well-meaning Americans who zealously fall all over themselves in these futile and pathetic attempts to appease.

Aided and abbetted by liberal politicians and quisling propagandists, the effrontery and supposed indignity of these reprobates is not founded in any religious doctrine. It is founded in their desire to recreate America into a sick parody of their own home countries, or as it is in many cases, simply to achive "victimhood" ($$$).

Claiming that the "close proximity" to either alcohol or pork violates the tenets of their religion is nothing more than cleverly crafted subterfuge with the sole intent of striking it big in the litigation lottery.

The reality is that Muslims, like Jews or even Rastafarians for that matter abstain for eating pork as one of the tenets of their religion.

So when Steven Wessler, the executive director with the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence says that the close proximity of a "ham sandwich" is "extraordinarily hurtful and degrading" to Muslims and that their "religion prohibits them from being around ham...[sic]". he just proves himself to be either a charlatan or a patsy.

Unless you have a Somalian student hogtied and are shoving baby back ribs and beer down his throat then you basically have nothing to worry about.

On that note, in my many years spent in both Indonesia and Malaysia I have never once come across a Muslim taxi driver who has refused a passenger who was carrying alcohol or heard of a Muslim who believed that the "close proximity" of pork violated the tenets of their religion.


1 comment:

  1. A Rabbi and a Priest are flying a plane. The planes engines start to fail and both the Priest and the Rabbi know that the end is just moments away when they crash into the ground.

    The Priest looks at the Rabbi and asks, "There is something I have always wanted to ask. Have you ever tasted ham?"

    The Rabbi looks at the Priest and says, "Yes, I have had a ham sandwich once. It was pretty good. Now let me ask you, have you ever had sex before?"

    The Priest lowers his eyes and says, "Yes, once when I was young, before I became a Priest."

    The Rabbi smiles and says, "It beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"


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