Mar 31, 2007

England and Iran

Tony Blair: Hallo! Hallo!

Iranians: Hello Who is it?

Tony Blair: It is Tony Blair, and these are United Nations diplomats. Who's country is this?

Iranians: This is the country of my President, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Tony Blair: Go and tell your President that we have been charged by the UN with um.. sacred sanctions. If he will release our sailors, we can give um... "incentives" and maybe some more goodies.

Iranians: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, by the way, they've already confessed.

Tony Blair: What?

UN Diplomat: He says they've already confessed!

Tony Blair: Are you quite sure they have actually confessed now?

Iranians: Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him the sailors have confessed)

Iranians: [chuckling]

Tony Blair: Well, u-- um, can we visit our sailors and check on their welfare?

Iranians: Of course not! You are English types-a!

Tony Blair: Well, what are you, then?

Iranians: I'm Iranians! We are your muslim overlords, you silly pathetic Prime Minister?!

UN Diplomat: What are you saying?

Iranians: Mind your own business!

Tony Blair: If you will not release our sailors, we shall um... take more "assertive measures".

Iranians: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called United Nations, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!

UN Diplomat: What a strange person.

Tony Blair: Now look here, my good man--

Iranians: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

UN Diplomat: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

Iranians: No. Now, go away, or we shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]

Tony Blair: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.

Iranians: (Jihad.)

Muqtada al-Sadr: (Jihad?)

Iranians: (Jihad!) [BOOM]

Tony Blair: If you do not agree to our commands, then I shall-- BOOM! Jesus Christ! GAIA!

UN Diplomats: GAIA! [BOOM] Ah! Ohh!

Tony Blair: Right! um... Sanctions!

UN Diplomats: Sanctions! [mayhem]

Iranians: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go. [BOOM]

Iranians: And this one's for your dad! [BOOM!! BOOM!!]

Tony Blair: Run away!

UN Diplomats: Run away!

Iranians: Thppppt!

Iranians: [taunting]

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